Live in Leeds
Live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
live in any northern university city,
live in Manchester, Liverpool, or Sheffield.
Live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
live in a run-down terrace
in Hyde Park or Headingley,
anywhere that’s a far cry
from the neat streets
that are a treat for the nouveau riche.
Live in Leeds cos it’s wicked.
Live in Leeds cos it’s cool.
Spend your time taking drugs and talking about clubs,
because there’s fuck all else to do.
Live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
please!
Live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
live in any northern university city,
live in Newcastle, Nottingham, or Hull.
Live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
take on the student ethos of right on beliefs,
the ones that you keep out of the reach
of those with clothes
too cheap to join your clique.
Live in Leeds cos it’s sorted.
Live in Leeds cos it’s safe.
Get some cash from your dad,
grow some mould in your bath,
and sleep throughout your days.
Live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
please!
Be my guest,
but when you’ve left,
just be careful what you represent.
If you go travelling round Africa or Asia,
don’t go spouting details of inner-city race and hate
that you gained watching telly in leafy suburbia.
If people ask about living in Yorkshire,
don’t paint Leeds as some glorious utopia
when all you saw was student flats,
student clubs, and cheap deals on beer.
If you spend three years considering
left-wing or liberal beliefs,
don’t leave, and leave them behind,
just to rejoin your own kind:
the mercenary greedy uncaring right.
And if people stop you in the street
asking you to join Amnesty or Greenpeace – join!
Don’t just wear the badges like some plastic fantastic hippie who can’t help but say yippee at the prospect of becoming the latest McTit to eat the latest McShit,
like vegetarians who preach but still eat meat –
I know them; I’ve had sexually fulfilling but emotionally frustrating relationships with New Woman – supposed neo-feminists who harp on about rights when all they want is wealth for the sake of their pride, a man with a fat wallet and a fast car and something to fuel their fat ego; well, if that’s you, then go, and leave the rest to live in Leeds.
Live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
enjoy your time,
have fun with the people that you meet.
Live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
spend a student loan on a holiday in Crete;
if I could, I would!
Live in Leeds,
live in Leeds,
climb to the top of the social and intellectual tree,
then leave.
But just remember that you’re just passing through,
like changing trains at Crewe.
Yeah, use your brain and think,
but don’t think that because you take fashionable drugs and walk around half-cut that you’re a cut above the rest, the uneducated masses of oppressed,
because you think you’re so clever and classless and free,
yeah, you think you’re so clever and classless and free,
you think you’re so clever and classless and free –
but you’re still fucking peasants as far as I can see.